12 Skills Fundraisers Need for What Comes Next: #12 Mattering

Before we get into this discussion in full, let's just re-cap quickly. Today is January 5, the 12th Day of Christmas in the Christian liturgical calendar. For the last twelve days, rather than looking at projections or predictions for the new year, we've been looking at the skills fundraisers will need and can develop in the new year.

Everything can and will change - and don't get me wrong, predictions and projections are very helpful. But by focusing on skills development, I believe we can be ready for anything that comes - no matter how it changes or evolves.

Tomorrow we'll post a full recap of all twelve skills, but today on this Epiphany Eve (or Twelfth Night as its also known) we're talking about this: mattering.

If there is one thing fundraisers quietly wrestle with — often without naming it — it’s this question: Does this work actually matter?

Not in the abstract or theoretically, but personally.

After the meetings. After the metrics. After the appeal drops, the campaign closes, the event wraps, the thank-you notes go out, and the next thing immediately takes its place, does what I do actually matter?

Here's the thing - donors are asking themselves the same question. "Did my gift matter? Did I make a difference? . . . Do I matter?"

What Do We Mean By “Mattering”?

Let’s be clear right away: mattering is not ego or recognition. It’s not being praised, promoted, or publicly affirmed.

Mattering is the felt experience that your effort, presence, and participation make a difference — to yourself, to others, and to something larger than yourself.

There is growing psychological evidence and study on the concept of mattering and its importance to humans in all areas. There's also growing body of knowledge on the interface of belonging and mattering.

In a nutshell, from a layman's understanding and viewpoint, belonging and mattering are fundamental, necessary human drivers and needs. We all have the need to belong - to society, a group, friends, family, etc. Mattering is the next step beyond belonging and they must be related.

Think about a situation where you know you're a part of a group, you feel welcome and comfortable within that group and you feel like you can be yourself. But you have that nagging doubt, "Would this group go on without me?'

It's why that song from Radiohead resonates so deeply with us: "I want you to notice when I'm not around."

Mattering As a Skill

Seth Godin, in The Song of Significance, frames it as the difference between success and significance.

Success is about outcomes, achievement, and winning. Significance is about

contribution — choosing to do work that matters to other people.

I prefer the word mattering because it’s simpler, more human, and harder to dodge.

You don’t have to explain it.You feel it — or you don’t.

Mattering Starts With You

Before we talk about donors, missions, or communities, we have to start closer to home.

Fundraisers are surrounded by meaning. They work with people who care deeply, causes that matter profoundly, and generosity that carries real emotional weight.

And yet, many fundraisers struggle to feel that they matter.

When mattering is absent, a few things tend to happen:

• Work becomes transactional.

• Outcomes become moral judgments.

• Exhaustion feels personal instead of systemic.

• Burnout masquerades as failure.

Mattering is the skill that prevents your work from collapsing into endless output without internal anchoring.

It’s how effort becomes purpose instead of depletion.It’s how uncertainty becomes tolerable instead of corrosive. It’s how you stay human in a role that often demands constant composure.

Mattering is not a feeling you wait for — it’s a practice

This is the critical shift.

Mattering isn’t something you hope arrives someday when the numbers finally cooperate.

It’s something you actively cultivate.

Here’s how fundraisers do that.

1. Interpret your work before you evaluate it

Most fundraisers move straight from outcome to judgment.

Did we hit the goal? Did this work or fail?

Practicing mattering inserts a step in between:

What happened — and what does it tell us?

Interpretation turns events into learning instead of identity. It allows you to grow without tying your worth to a result.

2. Name contribution, not just results

Significance often shows up before revenue does.

Trust built. Dignity affirmed. A donor feeling seen. A story landing in someone’s chest.

Those moments matter, even when they don’t immediately convert into dollars.

If you don’t name them, they disappear.

3. Tell truer stories to yourself

Mattering depends on narrative.

When the story you tell yourself becomes absolute, catastrophic, or shaming, mattering erodes.

Strategic stillness, discernment, and curiosity all support this practice: noticing when your internal narration is no longer accurate — just loud.

4. Integrate the skills instead of isolating them

Mattering isn’t something you earn from the outside. It’s what emerges when you accept the Invitation to significance and practice it with intention — and when that happens, the work finally starts to make sense as a whole.

Invitation → Skillful practice → Significance → Mattering

Curiosity helps you see. Grounded confidence helps you trust yourself. Discernment helps you choose. Data literacy informs understanding. Systems Thinking provides context. Upstream thinking identifies causes. Downstream planning anticipates consequences. Strategic stillness creates space. Humanity and humor keep the work livable. Adaptability helps you respond wisely.

5. Practice helping yourself matter — deliberately

Ask yourself regularly:

• Where did my work help someone matter today?

• Where did I matter — not because of output, but because of presence, judgment, or care?

• What contribution did I make that deserves to be acknowledged, even quietly?

Mattering grows where attention goes.

Mattering Doesn’t Stop With You

Once mattering is practiced internally, it naturally extends outward.

It shapes how donors are invited into participation instead of transaction. It influences how impact is described without oversimplification or savior narratives. It helps communities feel respected, not extracted from.It anchors organizations in purpose instead of panic.

This is where Seth Godin’s idea of significance becomes tangible.

Fundraisers don’t just raise money. We create pathways for people to matter through generosity.

What The Skill of Mattering Gives You

When fundraisers develop this skill, several things change:

• Burnout loosens its grip because effort isn’t wasted — it’s understood.

• Decision-making improves because choices are grounded in values, not fear.

• Confidence becomes quieter and more durable.

• The work becomes something you can stay with, even when it’s hard.

Mattering doesn’t guarantee easy years or perfect outcomes.

It guarantees something more sustainable: The ability to remain whole while doing meaningful work.

Mattering Lives Both Inside and Between Us

We often think of belonging — and therefore mattering — as something other people give us.

But mattering doesn’t start externally. It starts internally.

The longest relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. If that internal conversation insists you don’t matter, no amount of external affirmation will fully land.

That’s why mattering is a practice. It’s learned.It’s reinforced. It’s protected.

And once it’s rooted internally, it naturally extends outward — shaping how you show up with donors, colleagues, leadership, and community.

Mattering doesn’t mean your job can’t change or that organizations don’t evolve. It means your presence, judgment, and care are not erased just because a role shifts.

You matter because you participate with intention.

And participation — chosen freely and practiced skillfully — is where significance lives.

A Closing Thought

This series was never about predicting what fundraising will bring next.

It was about cultivating the inner skills that allow you to remain capable, ethical, and human — no matter what comes.

Mattering is not assigned, it's practiced.

And when you accept the Invitation to significance — and build the skills to live into it — the work stops feeling like a grind and starts feeling like something you can stand inside with integrity.

That’s not a small thing.

It’s everything.

Or, as the Lorax once said: